daSh of sPice …

At a new blog, kind of e-zine.

Manzar Nameh

yayy ~ Thanks to Marwa and Ammar of MN.

The to and fro running yields nothing but a sense of entrapment.

Waking to a feel of loss, sleeping with a fear of one.

A lifelessness alive.

Prayers always needed!

ps: Abu’s not feeling very good.

The most interesting thing about life is you forget too :)

I love and hate, both, when I forget the real context of something that was disturbing me … Khair … I think my blog’s going to become a Photo-Blog soon. Transition =P

I was tired of the previous post so here’s a yum shot. Cold Coffee “drunk” at Monal, Islamabad margallas.

What flavor do you like in Cold Coffee??

I’m still more of a shakes person :)

Don’t stuff your mind with the things you don’t understand.

Yes, the same fears are back.

Ever wondered how the way of telling things affect your mood. Well they do. Like two persons told me the same thing today. One with affection and in a way that it was light on my mind and heart with nothing about which I should be scared. Yet the other person told me the same thing in a way which raised doubts and fears. At the end, I feel like owner of a thumping heart with shaky soul =\ Sad, the second person was the last in line. Hence I’m uncertain … full of that at the moment.

The desires, fears of losing them all came back running to me again. Swaying in front of me and I dont feel like having the courage to bind them all to me, my heart, and my soul.

I feel like rushing these thoughts towards cheerfulness … Allah help me. Its not easy to share … its not even easy to thrust them on someone. Lingers on till I know. I don’t see this lingering to end in few months time though. I hope and PRAY my path doesn’t leave me to nowhere.

Yeah these days i’m feeling ? :~)

No idea what’s the feeling is like.

Ecstatic. Love. Desires. Anger. Fury. Anguis. Cuddles.

Probably I’m making a post just for the sake of it. A dull and boring life these days. Ultimate boredom actually.

ps: I’ve gone Pro on Flickr =)) Its fun uploading without the 200 pics limit scare-off :~)

pps: These days im tweaking pics so much that I forget about all other things :)

PPPS: I forgot to tell about the surgery. Well it didn’t happen. Thanks for the prayers nevertheless. The BP ws high on their machnes hence the docs said lets delay it. Though the most funny thing was he had to get admitted in hospital a day before. BP was high so he didn’t go for admission. We went to food street with my cousin and enjoyed behari kababs till we couldn’t even smell food and came at around 1 am back. In the morning abu offered his fajr prayers at home. At around 8-10 am period, 3 of his friends went to hospital to see him. One of them even roamed around wards and rooms in search. He was obviously not there. But that was hilarious =) Poor cute fellas uncles :)

A heart touching poem written by a 29-year old father, when doctors informed him that  his only  child, aged 10 years old was diagnosed with brain cancer.

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning,
I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late while we sit together on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
when I run my fingers through your hair, I will simply be grateful that God Almighty has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms,
and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer
senselessly and screaming inside; that they can’t handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you tonight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.

It is then, that I will thank God Almighty for having you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day………….

Yup my cam cravings are back…. over nightly.

As I flickr more and more my cravings go to wild range … I’m flickring Bokeh images … pure pleasure they are. If you are not aware of Bokeh, probably this or easier, this can help :~)

Right now I want to leave everything, buy an awesome camera and go out to explore the world.

Sigh - the wishful thinking.

Took this shot couple of days back, howzatt? Critique?

ps: prayers needed my dad will be going througha surgery in a day or two.

BORE.

:/

I’m utterly bored right now .. dont have any idea what to post … and then my sis says that Ive made a plum tart :~( And here I was yearning since evening to eat something … but thanks to hrs long loadshedding :/

So in my utter boringness .. I’m uploading pics on FB … uploaded one on Flickr … and GOD I’m so bored off.

Hmm … I wanted to write a few things more … probably i should not.

Updates:

Our office caterers are making names in below average food day-by-day. I was truly delighted to receive a mail from a collaegue this morning.

On friday our Engineering Vice President himself got the chance to come eye-to-eye with Mr. rochy in his biryani :D

W00t!

I know this picture has nothing to do with a Balam and that too a pardesi balam … who needs to padharo maaray dais =))

When I first saw these beautiful pillars erected in a park next to graveyard (Yes I’m a graveyard freak ;P ) … the first word that came to my mind was Jaipur and then Rajisthan and then slowly creeped in this song … !

I haven’t been to Jaipur ever … though its on top of my to-go lists … the earthen rawness of the region is just something that attracts me like crazy … I wish and pray that I be able to go there once to feel the magic of Rajasthan :~)

And yes .. loads of loads of Jaypuri chooooriyan *_* (my eyes are already glittering at the thought)

This is the first kinda processed shot .. though I was not willing to add too much of PS into my picture .. critiques, huh?

So I Sing …

Kesariya balam aayo ray
padharo rii maaray dais ray
Padharo ri maaray dais

You can watch/listen to the song here and feel why I’m crazy after it :~)

I feel strangled … deserted from everything … not in mood of any goody-good.

Withut discrimination .. I’m hating everyone right now.

Everyone!

A thing that was scaring me yesterday is making me fearless today. Haa. Life.